My husband left for Afghanistan this morning...our first deployment.
Since I've moved to Texas it's been this dark cloud hanging over our heads. You wait for months, wondering when you're going to get THE date, wishing, hoping, praying that time will just please slow down. Then you get that date. Then the counting down starts. You always have this countdown left of the days you have left together before he leaves. Eventually the stress and anxiety of a deployment can really take a toll on a relationship.
I didn't have any idea how I would feel when he finally had to walk out that door. I spent the week stressing about how upset I was going to be and how I was going to get through the day. As hard as I wanted to be strong for him, I couldn't get my mind away from how hard it would be to say goodbye. Most of yesterday was spent in sporadic bursts of tears- a song, a sign, hugging him.
We woke up at 3:25am, helped him pack the last of things. And then I hugged him tight, kissed him, told him I loved him and blew one last kiss as he walked out the door. And then...
I was okay. While it felt (and continues to feel) like a part of my heart was missing already, I felt this strange sense of calm and relief. Its. Finally. Here. No longer do we have to count up, now we can count down. No longer do we have to wish time would slow down, only for it to speed up. Deployment in a military life is inevitable, and while this will be a difficult time for both of us, each day brings us back to being together once again.
I am overwhelmed with the support from friends and family. There are so many people who have offered prayers, thoughts, and encouragement over the past few days. It means the world to both of us, and I can't thank everyone enough.
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